We know you've always wondered what would happen when a criminal robot adopts 12 children, and today we're talking about that answer.

We also talk about being perfectly normal and having two eyes. And we talk about creating perfectly normal greeting cards for perfectly normal people. We also detail quite a lot of movies we haven't seen (spoiler: it's a lot).

Ben waits for a job offer from Hallmark. Mike gets an ink pouch.

Get ready for a rough and tumble cattle drive where we tell nobody our feelings (but we still have them).

We talk about some cool things like how (un)cool we are, how (un)cool Kif is, Powerpoint presentations, pretending to be rich when you're not, and how printers cause blue screens of death.

We also talk about some uncool things like stereotypes.

But it's mostly the cool things. Probably like 95% cool things.

Ben gets a truck of Pepto-Bismol. Mike serves #TeamZoidberg refreshments.

WE PODCASTING ROBOTS HAVE PRODUCED A PODCAST FOR YE. We discuss an episode all about insane robots and also a robot who is maybe a fidget spinner.

We get into other great topics like Cypress Hill, teeth, retirement plans, beeping, and great accomplishments in making Futurama references.

Ben doesn't understand money. Mike is tuning his banjo.

When your 12 year old sons take over your company and turn it into a rude, crude delivery company, you have only one option: listen to our podcast!

We hope you like our podcast even if that's not your specific scenario.

Also there's a great side plot about making beer and we're really into that.

We also talk about chemistry nerds, dogs with thrusters, the video game Paperboy, and proper names for planets.

Ben gets fired on a slow news day. Mike takes over the company.

A series of unfortunate events meant that we couldn't record this week! So we hope you enjoy a small selection of our many outtakes.

Everybody secretly wants to quit their job and become a musician-poet who transcends genres even as they reinvent them. What happens when you finally achieve that dream?

We also accidentally plug some home brewers' beers and invent a really terrible sitcom. We maybe talk about state names a lot. Honestly, this one is kind of all over the place.

Ben is confused in the laundromat. Mike becomes a Cylon.

By the time this episode ends, it will be August, so we hope it is time well spent. We're gonna talk about the Globetrotters and mutants and also Kelsey Grammer may make an appearance.

We also talk about awkward banners to hang in your apartment, naked conga lines, and the best kind of fine china.

Ben does even more bad impressions. Mike does some showboating algebra.

We've all had a phase where we wanted to date a robot; why hide that fact in shame? Today we're talking about dating robots and it probably works out for everybody.

We talk a lot about The Scary Door, blowing up planets, timely references to music sharing services, some of Ben's patented dating advice™, and really bad movies.

Ben puts Spencer on blast. Mike buys the Milky Way.

Let's face it: the NNY Mets stink out loud. How do you get butts into those seats? With the first professional female blernsball player who also happens to have one eye and also be really bad.

We also talk an awful lot about pizza and flaming magnesium, selling things on eBay, and we accidentally steal a McElroy bit. Please don't sue us, sirs.

We also get a SURPRISE GUEST and we guarantee you won't like them.

Ben orders a questionable pizza. Mike hasn't seen a podcast this bad since the days of Bob Uecker.

If we change our slogan to "REMEMBER US" will you remember us? What if we became the lords of all creation? Actually, it's probably best that such a thing doesn't happen.

In addition, in this episode we talk about Mike's bad sports teams and Ben's Sims. We accidentally start yet another podcast about fonts. We talk about attitudes on butt. We also talk about Futurama, I guess.

Ben falls in love. Mike cannot lie about butts.